I know I have said this before but if people had anthems the way countries do, then mine would be…
Everything about that song shouts me…from the views of children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way…to my struggle ‘everyone needs someone to look up to, I never found anyone to fullfil my needs, a lonely place to be, so I learned to depend on me.’ In fact, there are actually two dog tags on the collar I gave myself. Of course, you all see the ‘to thine own self be true’ but the other simply says ‘The Greatest Love of All.’
I was reminded of why that is so important this week, when I stole another meme (if you are on my Facebook friends list be careful what you post…it may end up as a blog). But this one really put into words a concept that I have struggled with for a while now…
Not long ago, I got into a really strong argument with a friend. She was chasing her ex. Throwing herself at a man who had passive-aggressively verbally and emotionally abused her for the whole two years that I have known them. Then she finds out that he is cheating on her. And instead of kicking his sorry ass to the curb like she should have done before, she is trying to hold onto him…using some pretty dirty tricks like their business and child against him.
Now I am the first to say that we all need to take our commitments more seriously. But there are also times when…
There’s the door.
Don’t let the knob hit you,
Where the good goddess split you.
For me that line has always been my children. But there are others too…like when someone no longer wants or values you.
The problem is that if you do not love yourself, truly, deeply and completely…then you will settle for whatever crumbs you can get from others, you will try to hold onto something that is no longer good for you.
Because you fear being alone.
So anybody is better than nobody if you are not somebody.
That is why it is so fucking important that you take the time to learn to love yourself, before you go looking for it somewhere else with somebody else.
Does that mean you need to be perfect? Your ideal weight. All your ducks in a row. Everything just the way you wanted and always expected them to be. No, but it does mean that you need to know your strengths…as well as your weaknesses. Here is another one that says it all…
- Yes, I am not young any more…actually I am…at heart where it counts…and that comes with loads of wisdom now too.
- I am not skinny. My tits sag and my muffin top has risen to a whole loaf of bread.
- I ain’t rich, well not in the bank anyway.
- And yes, my child/ren will always come first with me.
But I know this too…even with all that I still bring WAY more to the table than other women. Oh, goodness…is this a blog of memes, it seems I am pulling out all my favorites for it…oh well, here’s another one…
Have you taken the time to meet yourself? To know all those amazing things that you bring to the table? What makes you truly worthy of the Greatest Love of All?
Because until you do then like my friend you will settle for any piece of shit…just to have someone, anyone.
For this girl, I have gotten to the point that no one is better than the wrong one. And if the right one is out there then I trust my goddess and Fate….and if not, well there is still my kids, my friends and all those damned books to be written. Because like that first one said I don’t need another human being to make my life complete.
Love is not two halves making a whole.
It is more… 1 + 1 = Infinity!
That is worth waiting a lifetime for…and what a tragedy it would be to have settled for something less when that did come along.