Serious Sunday: Change

We all hate it…and not just the kind that jingles in your pocket either.

Today is the 31st of January. Do you know what that means? One-twelfth of 2016 is gone…forever. What do you have to show for it?

This year so far has not only seen the deaths of loads of famous and sort of famous people but it has also been a time of upheaval…for me…my tribe…and just about everyone I know.

Two friends have separated from their long time partners. Someone I love got ‘blessed’ with one of those be careful what you wish for you just might get it things. Even good changes like new homes and boyfriends can still be stressful.

And today…half of my to-do list remains undone…and I am pushing it with getting this blog out late too…

Have you ever had one of those days where nothing got done because you were doing everything? Today has been one of those days…some of it really life changing even.

So I will keep it simple and share with you this message that definitely is my motto right now…


Goddess bless you with whatever change you face too…

Freaky Friday: Better Than an Apple

Have you heard the expression an apple a day keeps the doctor away? Well, I have one better…a Happy O a day makes it all better. Yes, I am talking about an orgasm.

An orgasm each and every day (at least one) keeps my 2nd chakra open…my stress down…and my world good. Don’t believe me? Look at this:

10 Surprising Health Benefits of Sex

OK, great but my partner doesn’t have the same libido…I don’t have a partner…

So what? Both of mine live thousands of miles away…that is why the goddess made your fingers, hands, dildos and vibrators…ok, so maybe she had a little help with those last two.

Glass ToysDid you know that the vibrator was actually invented by Victorian physicians as a means of treating ‘hysteria’? Yeah, the same root as hysterectomy. Meaning they viewed achieving an orgasm as treatment for stress in females. And dildos…well those have been found among the ruins of most ancient civilizations.

So despite what your backwards thinking mother may have told you about going blind or growing hair on the palms of your hands…masturbation can actually be good for your physical, mental and in my case spiritual health.

So here is my 7 day challenge…at least one Happy O per day for a whole week. Even when you are tired and don’t feel like it. Keep track of how you feel. And for the brave souls…report back (email is fine). I will protect your identity.

Cum on…who will volunteer for this little experiment?

Thoughtful Thursday: Sweet Dreams

As a child of the 80s and the first MTV generation, I love that song/music video.

And I often write about pursuing your dreams, but I got to thinking today about that other kind of dream…the ones when we sleep. What did you dream about last night? When was the last time you remember a dream? Isn’t it ironic that so many of us do not just have trouble tapping into goals/dreams/aspirations but we cannot even remember the ones when we sleep?

There is this reality TV/documentary called Tribal Wives. I caught an episode once where the woman was living with an indigenous peoples in the Amazon. She told them that she was tired because she had a bad dream and could not sleep. The chief wanted to know what her dream was. The whole tribe stopped everything they were doing…for three days to help her with a cleansing ritual. That is how powerfully these people believed dreams to be.

Perhaps you consider that superstitious savages…but they cared enough for this outsider to stop their lives for three days…a group of almost 50 people. We sometimes won’t do that for our lovers/partners or children. Maybe I am weird but I wonder who the true savages are?

And being honest here…I do not remember all my dreams…or even frequently. But it is often how I get story ideas. I do wish I remembered more of them. Experts suggest that you keep a notebook and pen near your bed and write them down immediately…I am going to give that a try. Because as excited as I am about the dreams I have awake…I REALly want to discover what I can get up to asleep.

How about you?


REAL Woman Wednesday: I AM a Feminist TOO…

A few days ago, a friend shared with me Emma Watson’s speech to the UN, ‘I’m a feminist.’  Now I am always sceptical when I hear that word. And I have a few issues with her speech, but overall it was better than the femi-Nazi, man-hating stuff I grew up on. Don’t get me wrong…I am a feminist too and I believe:

Not just in equal pay for men and women…but that nurses, teachers and waitresses (traditionally feminine roles) have the same VALUE as doctors, lawyers and bankers (traditionally male ones). And that their compensation packages should show that.

Like the youngest ever Nobel Peace prize winner Malala Yousafzai, I believe that education from birth to death is the right of every man, woman and child in this world. I echo her passion, “Even if they come to kill me, I will tell them what they are trying to do is wrong, that education is our basic right.”

I believe that every little girl deserves Legos and swords/guns if she wants. Go gamer girls, go…and that every little boy has the right to be a Disney princess, have a doll and a kitchen set.

I believe that women have significant contributions to make to fields such as mathematics and the sciences. As well as politics, medicine, the law…

I believe to my core that children, women and men should be safe from domestic violence, psychological abuse and rape. And yes, men too can be the victims of all those things.

Every childI support Planned Parenthood’s ideal…I believe in the free and easy access to birth control worldwide. I believe that if you are not old enough to talk about it, then you ain’t old enough to be doing it. And that contraception is a couple’s responsibility…not just the woman’s.

I believe that women should not have to fight for what is already their right…we were born equal to men.

I also believe…

That being equal is NOT about being the same. I am a woman. W-O-M-A-N. Not only does that mean there is something different between my legs and on my chest…it means my brain functions in a different way than a male. I have different ways of communicating, learning and working. Science and medical technology is revealing that women use different areas of their brains for problem solving than males. Not inferior…nor superior…COMPLIMENTARY.

Gender…masculine and feminine…is not about what is between your legs or on your 23rd set of chromosomes…it is more complex than that. As Emma Watson said in her speech, gender is a continuum. There is a bit of my feminine goddess in the most masculine conqueror that ever lived. And there is a bit of the masculine strength in my shieldmaiden.

I know, accept and respect the uniquely FEMININE gifts of nurturing, comforting and giving life in many ways. And I respect and welcome his gifts of protection, providing and cherishing. We are balance. Ying and yang. When we work together as compliments, things are just better. I am less without him…and he is less without me.

But the biggest problem I have with Emma’s speech is…before you invite men to the feminist agenda…how about feminists pull their heads out their (female anatomy) and invite the rest of us women. You know the ones that have exercised our free will CHOICE to fill the traditional role of wife and mother. How about mending bridges, filling the divide that the feminist movement created…and becoming one true sisterhood?

Because the rest of us are sick and tired of having our RIGHTS to choose caring, nurturing and looking after our families denigrated and made fun of in the media.

We are tired of femi-Nazis like Cherrie Blair calling us lazy and saying we set bad examples for our children (bitch, I CHALLENGE you to survive a single day of my life as a writer and single mother of an autistic child…without your cadre of nannies).

We are sick and tired of going to dinner parties where people ask, ‘so what do you do’, when we tell them we are stay-at-homes moms, they roll their eyes and change the subject.

We are angry at government policies that penalize the poor and working class for being a single income and make it the privilege of the wealthy only to raise their children.

So Emma before you go off on your HeForShe rant…clean the feminist household first. Break down the walls that exist between women. If feminism truly is about CHOICE then recognize than mine is just as valid as yours. Because let me tell you, we are tired of having things done in our name when we were NOT consulted. We have earned our place at that table.

We’re waiting for our invite to the table?


Tease Tuesday: Clean Out the Junk

This is the day when I am supposed to tease you with what I am writing. But these days my writing, minimal as it is, is more about what is happening inside of me…major changes.

Breathe…yes, I am still writing fiction. Yes, Kirsty and her husbands will have their story finished. And loads of those other stories too.

But things are happening and emerging inside of me that I am not ready to fully reveal just yet. As with most of these times in our lives, we must clean out the old to make way for the new and I am doing that too… Organizing my home, keeping old promises to my kids and standing by my tribe during some really hard times right now.

phoenixLike the legendary Phoenix, my fires have always purged me and I have and will arise anew, stronger and better. And this may be the biggest…and thus the most painful change of them all.

For my friends, please hang with me during these changes. For my readers, I promise you will have your stories. For my family and growing tribe…I love you and will ALWAYS be here for all of you.

So as I looked through my writings that are no where near ready to be shared, I realized that what I wanted to tease you with the most was these changes themselves… Here is the YouTube playlist that has become my daily meditation…

Hope it speaks to and encourages even one of you the way that it is me…

Goddess bless…


Miscellaneous Monday:Something We Fear More Than Failure

For me, there have always been periods of such rapid revelation and growth that it leaves my head spinning and those around me asking “What the fuck?” But nothing like this year. Literally since the beginning of this year, everything has been turned on its head. People I love have hurt me…and people I love are hurting.

On top of all that, the revelations about where I go from here that have been a steady trickle…well, the whole fuckin’ dyke has broken…and at times I am barely keeping my head above water. I have become a Dory fish…’just keep on swimmin.’  And sometimes swimming equals treading water.

But I have discovered something…it is not failure or even change that we fear the most. Not even death. No, it is something far, far worse that most of us fear. Something that holds most of us back for a lifetime…

What is it? What do we fear so damned much, you ask?



The thing that frightens us most is becoming, who we were born to be. Because that is so much bigger and more important than we can ever believe possible.

But no more. Not for Tara. And if I can help it/them, not for my tribe…it is time to become who we were born to be.

What about you? Are you ready to move forward? To find the courage?